This is my first blog ever.  I've been wanting to try this for a while, but decided to give it a whirl today.  

I went for my annual check-up today.  I've been going to the same doctor for almost 12 years.  I told her about the recent death of my grandmother.  She asked me how I was doing, and I replied "I'm trying to pretend like it didn't happen."  She wasn't all that thrilled with that reply.  She told me (which of course I know) that I need to deal with this loss before it spills over into my work, onto my son, and every aspect of my life.  So I've decided I can't ignore this loss anymore - I have to face it.  I've decided to start here.

Today was particularly hard.  Not just because I went to see my doctor and told her about the death of my grandmother - but because my niece flaked out at the last minute.  She was supposed to watch my son while I was at the doctor.  In the past I would have called my grandmother to watch him.  When I realized that waves of sorrow overwhelmed me.